Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
