The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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