You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
