kristin has been a bad kristin
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
