My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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