And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
