I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
