I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
