Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize