No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
