4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
