I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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