Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
