Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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