apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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