we have officially lost it.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
love makes seman taste better
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
