Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
