JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so let's talk penis.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
