i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
