Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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