plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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