hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
