i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
