your parents love me but you hate me
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
