just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
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