But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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