Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
