i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
