Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
