you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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