I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
