R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
