where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
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