never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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