dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
where are my eyebrows?
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