i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
