people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
