Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Your cock deserves a montage
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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