...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I stole a fireplace last night.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
