he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
