Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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