Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
