Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
