How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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