Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Semen is not good for contacts.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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