Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize