I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
