I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
