oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
