Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
