Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
