Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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