but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
