So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
