Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
