first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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