Those balls look pretty dangerous.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
