wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
