So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
