It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
