So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
