remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Is Oprah even human
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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