I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Panties = found
Randomize
