so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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